Do You Have The Answers?

Eric Church | Vote Eric | CAROLINA - available NOW!

2011-02-05T15:31:00.000-06:00

Eric Church Vote Eric CAROLINA - available NOW!

OUR CHILDREN & THE BURDENS THEY BEAR

2009-04-15T16:24:00.001-05:00

As parents, we are boast how much we love our children and will never let anyone hurt them, but what about the things we do to hurt them. We spend so much of our life trying to protect our children from outside forces that can bring them hurt and emotional strain yet we fail to see the emotional devastation we inflict daily, whether it be arguing in front of them, making un-kept promises, divorce or neglecting to listen. It is sad and regretful we don’t realize this as it is happening, but it is implausible when we knowingly thrust it upon them.
I have come to realize, though sadly it has taken so long, there are so many times in my children’s lives I have allowed them to witness my actions, the very ones I preach to them to avoid and however regretful I was of this it can’t be undone. Luckily I have been blessed with beautiful, smart and for the most part, well behaved kids and I am thankful they have and are still surviving my unbalanced world. As much as I have tried to make up for any emotional stress I have caused for any my kids, I have found some are still being exposed affected by actions stemming from my mine and his father’s relationship.
I have been separated from my husband for over a year now, yet we have remained in contact, a story for another time, and have not filed for divorce. In this marriage I was blessed with a wonderful step-son, whom I love unconditionally, but I recently discovered he is still suffering emotional strife. He is a beautiful and bright young man that does not deserve to be placed in the middle of adult issues or asked to keep a secrets. Because of the pressure placed on him to keep quite the things he knows he is suffering emotionally. It has affected his personality, childhood and academics. He spends so much of his time worrying he may divulge something he has been asked not to tell he avoids open conversations with others around him. Then sometimes these secrets weigh on him so much he makes unexpected remarks without further detail. It is evident there is much more he wants to unload but denies himself this relief. His fear, separation from one or the other parent and the fear of the parents historically documented temper, so he lives each day cautiously.
How can a parent burden a child so heavily without considering the consequence, they are so concerned about themselves they don’t stop to think of the ones that should mean the most. It is not a child’s responsibility to keep secrets between parents. If a parent is doing something they shouldn’t be doing ~keep it to yourself~ don’t involve your child. Even worse, while this beautiful child is working so hard to keep secrets that the other parent already knows, you are only placing undue pressure small shoulders. Not only are you upsetting them emotionally but you are teaching them your ways, to lie, cheat and deceive. This is the time they are developing and evolving into adulthood. Is this how you want them to live their life, deceitful and untrusting? You are robbing them of their childhood, a time to be carefree, happy and making mistakes of their own, don’t expect them to protect the confidentially of your choices. These actions are the foundation of your relationship now and in the future.
The saddest part of this situation is when a parent is to self-involved to see the damage being done to their relationship with their child. It is suffering now and will only bring distance and regret in the future. At some point in time, we have to take responsibility for our actions and stop blaming others; we make choices and with those choices come consequence ~ isn’t that what we teach our children? So how can we expect them to grow morally and ethically when we ourselves act atrociously?

Xzotto

2008-11-12T22:11:00.000-06:00

Xzotto

How is it the smallest things can make you live again?

2008-09-06T15:53:00.003-05:00

It’s Saturday afternoon 1:54 pm and I just woke up….didn’t go to sleep until 8:00 am, but it’s better than the norm. The past year I have rarely slept, never understood why but I think I’m starting to figure it out.

It is amazing how unexpected things can change your perspective on life and the way you live, especially when you were ready to lose hope all together. The past 2 ½ years had almost put me under; my daughter was away a college, my sons were graduating and the man I thought I would spend the rest of my life with was living a double life – How in the hell can you recover from that? I have and I am getting stronger everyday!

With the help of my wonderful friends and family, I began a slow painful recovery but still maintained I would never allow anyone to penetrate the shield that protected my emotions. That part of me had become cold and dark, destroyed by the bomb that had shattered my world. I had learned to deal with this; what option did I have? I was alone and I was fine! - How dare someone I don’t even know find a way to bring light to my dark place?

I’m not talking about falling in love, I’m talking about someone forcing you to reflect on your life and accept the possibility that just because I allowed myself to settle, there is still something worth the wait. If this person could see through me disrupting the control I had on my life, then there is still hope. It really doesn’t matter how many others have been touched by this same angel or “sheep in wolves clothing” it is my life that matters to me. I may never really know this person but to them I owe my gratitude, I can’t stop smiling.

Pay attention, take chances and maybe the smallest event could give you new life.

Dating Sites, Could Someone Explain This To Me?

2008-09-04T03:23:00.001-05:00

Now that I have spent the last 12 hours figuring out all this technical stuff.....I'm tired! But while doing this and listening to the activities around my house my new blog idea smacked me in the head.....

Dating Sites, while these can be very helpful to some, others find they have wasted time creating impressive profiles with the ill conceived idea of finding eternal happiness with their soul mate. I would like to know how many people were successful.

The reason I ask this question is only because after a 1 1/2 years of my dazzling yet serine profile being posted on a popular personals site, I have not followed through with one connection. Don't get me wrong there are many attractive men on these sites and I hope that some of them are sincere with their intentions but you would think eventually new profiles would emerge and the veterans would have found a home by now. I say this only because I have spent many hours logging the suitors that graze these sites daily.

I have been separated for almost two years, shortly after leaving my husband a friend took it upon herself to start my profile, I didn't complain because being the fun loving prankster I am had previously thrown her into several unexpected situations. So I decided let's just sit back and watch for a while, and it didn't take long, within two weeks I had over 170 views and about 85 messages; cool huh? Well I thought so until I started politely replying, I was raised to be polite and not to offend, but it only took chatting with about 5 possible candidates before I realized I was a side of beef being paraded at an auction! Within minutes men were asking for more photos, ready to meet and even began discussing very intimate, sometimes vulgar, encounters. OMG, all I could do was laugh and somehow find a way to ease out of this conversation hoping it was.... And now, after almost two years, I can still go on this site and find the same men (maybe a couple of new candidates) logging on everyday in search of what..... Their happily ever after!

So please, if someone can explain to me why the same people are still "looking for love" after two years in the same place it will be appreciated.

Because, my conclusions are frightening:

They are just a bunch of freaks looking for a sure thing, which would make me - OMG don't even want to think about that...........
There is something wrong with everyone else in the world that makes them unfit for these promising mates
There is something terribly wrong with them, that keeps them searching for someone to tolerate them

Please keep in mind, this is men and woman alike on these sites; I just don't see how a meaningful relationship starts with meaningless sex! LOL

Maybe it's just me, and it probably is because I have not found my eternal happiness, but I haven't been looking for it either. I know in time God will fill my life with more than I will be able to handle!

For all who are whole heartedly searching for true love and your happily ever after, I wish you the best.
lml5231

Starting My Journey To Understand Everything & Nothing At All....

2008-09-02T23:52:00.000-05:00

OK - I have spent endless hours reading blogs on MySpace, Google & Yahoo, unsure what I am hoping to find. Maybe I read in search of answers to the foolhardy thoughts that fill my head or perhaps I am on a journey to find that miraculous “prophecy blog” guiding me out of this emotionally unfulfilled existence. Whatever the reason, I have been unsuccessful.

So today I decided to start my own personal blog! My goal is self-serving, no expectations , just opportunity to transfer this confusion that clouds my head to something tangible and maybe, should fate allow, those answers I yearn to find will come to me.

With so many things, where do I start?

Blogging-why is it so many people, like me, spend hour after hour reading blogs? While some bloggers post reviews, news & insight into daily living others open their soul to the world hoping to find answers just as I do. With no specific content my quest for knowledge begins and should an xx find their way to this page, I invite your input or submit your own inquiry so that together we may find what we desire.